The Killer Crane Story

I was busy loafing in front of the TV at my parents condo in Florida last week, when I heard a familiar clacking racket emanating from outside. I recognized the plastic sounding clatter as the call of the local sand hill crane.

As loud as the croaking was, I assumed it must have been right outside my parents lanai on the first floor of their building nestled on the 16th tee of a par 3 hole on the Bobcat course of the Plantation resort.

I looked out through the sliding glass door and could not see it anywhere. I squinted into the setting sun toward the green of the par 3, and then could see there was an elderly couple strolling off the green and getting back into their cart. The angry crane was just to the left of the green and no doubt upset at the elderly intruders of it's personal space.

I quickly trotted up the cart path with my camera to get a closer look. I can only imagine it thinking it had finally gotten rid of 2 intruders just to have another nuisance approach. To it's credit, as I got closer and closer with my camera, it stayed still, keeping a watchful eye on me, but not voicing any protest. Great!!

I clicked a couple pictures of it and when I was satisfied I had gotten a good enough shot, turned to head back to the condo. The view of the condo from there was really quite pretty - the twilit sky was a light purplish bruise and the nearly full moon hung just over the building.

I stopped to take a picture of this subtropic January scene and was fiddling with the angle etc as I usually like to fuss over taking pictures, when from behind me I heard a rustling of feathers and a heavy thudding of feet.

I turned, and coming right at me was not one, but 2 agitated cranes with necks low and wings out as if they were transformers in attack mode. I then instantly went into survival mode and sprang into a sprint, killer cranes at my heels.

In my panic, I must have taken a picture as I fled from the direct descendants of Velociraptors threatening my life.

In my retreat, I passed a lone palm tree and, survival instincts intact, immediately took a hard 90 degree right turn, using the tree as a sling to help with the sharp turn at such a high speed.

I turned back to see if my ploy had worked, and sure enough the 2 assailants continued on a straight line as if I had not been in their path at all. Then the one in front - the one I had been taking pictures of, beat its wings and took off on a low flight just over the cart path leading to the next tee.

Unfortunately for the elderly couple in their cart on the next tee, they had no idea about this whole commotion and how I had almost died at the hands...OK, not hands...but at the wings and feet of these creatures - one of whom was now headed directly at their cart.

I glanced up as the fleeing crane continued on it's low trajectory, wings flapping heavily with a span of about 8 feet, just off the ground and right toward the elderly woman now deboarding the her golf cart. She was looking up the fairway, as golfers do to survey their next challenge, and away from the winged menace behind her.

Well, I didn't put 2 and 2 together right away as I was still recovering from absolute shock and wondering what intentions the crane still left behind with me might have for me. And it all happened so fast too - 2 cranes attacking, one crane flies off, one crane still here not attacking, phew - then wait a minute, isn't that other crane headed right for that nice old lady getting out of her....

OK, maybe there was some morbid curiosity too as to how she was going to react, but I don't think so. I just couldn't warn her in time....honest.

The crane did manage to get just enough height to clear the cart and the emerging great-grandmother - barely. It had swooped its wings just that much harder to get the required altitude. So the rushing whoosh had to have been that much louder to those whose heads this was being done right over.

To my great surprise though, the crane brushed right over the woman who just walked forward with the crane passing over her head like it was a common mosquito that had been bugging her all day. No big deal. She didn't even hunch her shoulders or duck or anything. Huh? I was even more stunned than when I had 2 killer cranes chasing me!!